Lies I Told Myself

If you’re not a sports fan there’s a good chance you didn’t know there was an NFL lock out for the past few months. What that meant to the common fan, like myself, is that players and owners were on rocky ground and couldn’t come to an agreement on issues such as money, more money, and then money. What this also meant was there were no stories on football to report because the sides were divided and “locked out” -  ie: no trade rumors, injury reports, updates, shit talking, all the things that engages us as fans.

As the common fan I was indifferent these past few months, and something happened. I didn’t look at ESPN.com as much and I didn’t watch Sportscenter as often. From that alone I came to a conclusion: I care too much about sports. It was eye opening how much time I spent randomly reading about my team and off-season moves. From that conclusion I told myself that I think I may take a step back, I think I can substitute sports indulgence with something else. 

When I heard the lock out was over the first thing I did was text a buddy some random comment about how it’s time for the Packers to repeat and win the Superbowl, then to follow it up with a comment about Brett Favre (probably a penis joke) and his retirement. Truthfully, I think I was waiting to send that text since last season, and I don’t ever think I will ever get tired of Brett Favre comments.

Later I went to ESPN.com to read about football then went to Twitter, to tweet, but also to read tweets about football. Kind of pathetic, right?

In the course of 2 hours I was back into the flow of football. What’s going on with trades, free agents, teams, my potential fantasy football, and then it hit me… What the hell was I thinking? I love sports.

Was I some kind of sports fan who was posing as someone who didn’t need sports? Did I really think that I could take a step back from sports when my hometown Packers just won the Super Bowl? Who the hell was I kidding? I love to read about trades, hear about team issues and inspirational stories, I love watching motivational catches and acts of athleticism that I only think I can do, and most importantly: I love to think I know more about my team than the general manager does… I’m a fan.

Which leads me to one very solid conclusion: I was lying to myself about not wanting football. Which opened a can of worms… what else have I been lying to myself about?

I give you my: Lies I’ve told myself in 2011.

Not Wanting And Needing Sports: See above. But let me add juuuust a bit more to this. Sports are fun and engaging and they remind me of the greatest line Matthew McConaughey has ever said in a movie - “I get older, they stay the same age.” Of course MM was talking about high school girls, but in sports the talent level stays the same or learns from their predecessor and improves.

(Women, sorry I just compared you to the sports talent level but the same could apply for men. I should probably get of this subject, in the words of McConaughey and every movie he’s ever been in “Alright…Alright…Alright”)

Entourage Is Played Out: I’ve been telling myself that this show jumped the shark for years. (Thank you Fonzie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpraJYnbVtE) Ever since Vinnie chase took on a drug addiction and E started his own management company I was thinking, WTF. But, truth be told I really like this show and have been following it now for 8 seasons. It’s difficult not to stay attached to this show, especially when you live in fiction world like myself and actually think you have the same Hollywood problems as this crew. I’ll be sad to see it go.

I Don’t Like Harry Potter: I embraced and took on this series after the Prisoner of Azkaban. Voldemort is no Darth Vader but I’d argue he’s the closest thing in a very long time (I still love you Star Wars).  Harry Potter, you’re adventure and I appreciate you for this.

I Understand Soccer: Yes, I understand how soccer is played… or wait, do I? I don’t know if I could tell you who is off sides or even how many people are on the field at one time. I really thought I understood this, but on the world scale I don’t understand how the teams match up, when they play, why they play, and what tournaments are going on when they’re going on. I’ve recently jumped into this to try to learn and educate myself on the most popular sport in the world.

I Like Dominos: Fact: In 2010 employees of Dominos shoved pizza ingredients in their noses and around their asses (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D9PikBzNNo&feature=related).

Dominos went on to launch a self deprecating campaign, which apparently saved Domino’s stock, to say that they’re going to be fresh and they have learned from their mistakes…blah blah blah bullshit. I tried their new “recipe” and almost fell for their make over until I saw a Dominos employee smoking in front of Dominos.

And then it hit me – I almost fell victim to corporate advertisement. Dominos has done nothing to change their employees just their perception. As far as I’m concerned this is still happening… probably in a lot more places than Dominos, but I need to see it to believe it. 

I Love Netflix: Love is a strong word, and I misused it on Netflix. Before they split the $7.99 streaming and 1 DVD package to $7.99 for each service I was skeptical with this streaming service. It’s half assed as it stands, but to their credit they’re in beta phase with streaming and trying to get more licenses to stream, but I don’t love this, I like it. Get more streaming movies and I’ll love it.

Realty TV is Worthless: This statement was too general, example: Anthony Bourdain is great. Also, the worthless trainwreck is the best entertainment.

Too Much Technology Hurts Us: What the hell was I thinking? I love the options and the possibilities. I love knowing that I may be a cyborg soon and that I can connect with millions of people in a matter of minutes. I once thought this may be intrusive but the reality is, we’re accepting it and running wild with it.

Bring on the eye scans and nano’s!

I Understand Google+: This is fairly new to the world, and it’s the social networking mastermind that should rival Facebook. I am here to say, I don’t necessarily get it.

So I can only have circles? Why are my pictures so big? Am I always signed in? Wait… I’m in my 20’s - I should get this… right?

And so it goes, maybe this is more that I just don’t necessarily like it as much as I don’t get it, and maybe it will take time to grow all over me like google did 10 years ago. Also, Facebook is just embedded into my system right now and I don’t know if Google is doing anything so different that I need it, the one exception is that I use Gmail, which actually may be a huge google advantage. Either way, why ruin a good thing? Unlike Facebook, Myspace was clunky and scattered – which is why it took over Myspace in 1 second.

Not to sound like an old man but I realize there are many things I may have written off a little too soon. Patience and time are much needed, it’s good to sit back relax and remember things you … Wait… Shit…  McNabb may have been traded to the Vikings, gotta read ESPN.com.

 

The End of Entourage

I’ve been trying to remember the last time a show was about a main character but it’s not actually about the main character, it’s actually about it’s supporting cast. I was really digging deep for this one and I didn’t come up with much, actually I didn’t come up with anything… Muppet Babies? Wasn’t that show about “Nanny” or was it? I don’t’ really remember, I just remember her striped socks. I’m sure a show will come to me at 3am when I’m not thinking about it, but that’s exactly what Entourage is, and to it’s credit it is called Entourage.

This weekend marks the beginning of the end to Vinny Chase and his best friends. As I’m sure everyone knows the show is loosely based off of Mark Wahlberg (First time ever I didn’t initially call him Marky Mark) and his best friends accompanying him in LA. Along with his best friends he has his fictitious super agent Ari Gold based off non-fictitious super agent Ari Emmanuel.

I set my DVR to record the final season and I wasn’t too sure why, I don’t even know how much I care about the show, 80 percent of me tells me I’ve been invested for 7 previous seasons and it’s too late to stop now. There are only 8 episodes in the entire 8^th season and I think I owe it to myself and see how this thing plays out. But seriously, why do I care about this show? Let’s be honest here for a second, the show isn’t all that good anymore, right? So I’m going to take a moment and flush out everything I remember of Entourage.

Warning: This timeline may be wrong. A lot of things may be wrong actually but it’s how I retained Entourage over these years:

I remember the show opening at Fred Segal’s on Melrose located in Hollywood. When I was watching all I thought was “Holy Shit, I literally live 8 seconds from Segal’s, I could see it at my house off of Kilkea. And when I say my house I mean I was living with my Aunt and her husband for a short amount of time. Lets dive into this a little further and open up the guts of Entourage –

I was living in Hollywood (check) and when you live in Hollywood you’re here for the entertainment industry (check) and when you’re in the entertainment industry you’re probably struggling at some point (check) and all you dream about is making something of yourself so you can call your friends and brag… I mean enjoy it together (check) and BOOM this is why we all love Entourage. This is a no brainer; they’re living the dream.

Success, friends, women, freedom, movies, and playing in the sexiest and most unknown universe in the world – Hollywood. This is what the first season was to me and it’s what the first season was to a lot of people, the appeal. Not to mention this show was filled with very specific supporting characters that were more memorable than the lead.

But I’m still hung up on this appeal thing because it’s very important. Aside from just knowing that this season was cool can anyone really remember what the first season was about? No, okay that’s fine because most can’t remember most first seasons. Moving on… what was any of this show about? Specifics I remember:

Vince (The Star) Bangs girls and eventually gets a drug problem.

E (Vince’s best friend) becomes his manager.

Drama (Vince’s brother) is in and out of acting and is also the funniest character on the show.

Turtle (Vince’s other best friend) drives Vince everywhere and eventually tries to do his own thing. The he starts dating Jamie Lynn Sigler (somehow).

Ari (Vince’s agent) gets a funny gay assistant, but consistently yells at people.

Wow. Not much. But that’s okay, because although Entourage seems as though its character driven, it’s not, it’s appeal driven. The appeal and small set pieces of these characters just being cool and getting a lot of attention is what makes Entourage. The show opens the door to the people living outside of Hollywood and exposes what it’s like to be here, and it flaunts Hollywood to the people living here… It’s the perfect equation.

I think this show always knew that and somewhat walked the fine line of character development and environment development, even though they kind of go hand in hand. The show is like a burst of energy with down time of character, and when we see that burst of energy it’s so cool, it’s almost unattainable.

So, as we get ready to watch the final 8 episodes and see how Vince and the crew get him out of his coke addiction all I can hope is that he really gets out of it and starts being awesome again. I think it’s too late to try and define this show as anything other than a fun show that exposes what we don’t have but what we all really want.

To the credit of everyone on this show they were killing it for a little while, the story lines have kept me for a solid 8 seasons (even though I can’t recall most) and the guest characters they’ve accumulated may be the best in TV history. It’s just that I don’t have much attachment to any of these guys… Maybe Johnny Drama just a little bit. 

I guess as I think about it I do have some slight attachment to Vinny Chase and his crew, probably because everything they’ve had is so appealing to me.

Justin Timberlake

Today may be Harry Potter day but I thought I’d take a minute and discuss another former boy bander - Justin Timberlake (Yes, I know Daniel Radcliffe wasn’t in a band but he was on Broadway, so that may count as something) and the fact that he may be moving into leading man territory next week when he opens Friends With Benefits.

Next week marks a significant time in Timberlake’s acting career, he’s opening a movie as the lead male actor. “Who cares?” you may say… Well, I care, I say. Today when I saw the big billboard with Timberlake trying to look like the friend next door across from Mila Kunis (more on her in a minute) I asked if I was ready for him. Hollywood clearly is taking the musician JT paired up with the “Holy Shit is Timberlake really in a David Fincher film” steam and putting him in a movie that Ashton Kutcher is born to play… No Strings Attached reference.

I needed to do some reflection and ask if I had any beef with JT, no. I actually really like his music, and when he had dyed curly blonde hair I secretly liked some of his poppy NSYNC music. So why am I questioning this? Well, it’s because I hadn’t accepted JT the actor quite yet. Although he’s been in close to 10 films I still always pictured him as a performer on SNL, in digital shorts, singing on the ESPY’s, and looking at Janet’s boob.

So let me do what I’m best at, and that’s break down scenarios that not need to be broken down, thus essentially laying out what’s going to happen with JT’s career post next week. As I see it, 1 of 3 things will happen:

Scenario 1: Best Case Scenario

The movie opens to good reviews, and not only does the movie open to good reviews but Timberlake has good reviews, and especially with his Kunis chemistry. Along with the good reviews the movie makes roughly 30 million and thus gives insta solidification to the idea that JT can be leading man in a movie.

From here he does a few more films with solid directors (next film is with Andrew Niccol aka a great director) and then re-enters leading man role in a comedy, then eventually moves to serious.


In this best-case scenario he takes on the career of former musicians turned actors: Frank Sinatra, Mark Wahlberg, and Will Smith. JT will one day look back at the time when he was second fiddle and occasionally dabble back in music making him the ultimate double threat to music and film. Of course he will produce, direct, and probably write something in the future.

The Big Ol’ Asterisk of this Best Case Scenario: Today is Harry Potter day and it doesn’t seem like this train is slowing down. On top of that, Potter has competition in the form of Captain America, which opens along with Friends with Benefits. What this means is JT’s movie is going to open at #3… that’s right, 3.

Opening Friends with Benefits is some kind of brilliance or a blatant slap saying “Hey we know you aren’t going to open #1 at the box office so we’ll just throw you into the mix of the 2 biggest movies of the summer.” Either way the best case is that this movie opens at #3 with 30 million.
Last thing on this – if it does open to 30 million then that means this weekend will most likely be one of the biggest opening weekends ever. Best Case.

Scenario 2: Worst Case Scenario

The movie opens to poor reviews and totally bombs. We hear that JT can’t open a movie and the in film chemistry is on par to Madonna and Banderas in Evita. The movie opens with 8 million and falls behind Potter, Captain America, this week’s Winnie the Pooh, and next week’s indie sleep Another Earth.
We all make jokes about this movie but ultimately wipe it from our memories and Timberlake needs to continuously take on rolls in the supporting world, makes another (good) album, and goes back to SNL to save face. His career would mirror former musician turned actors: Henry Rollins, Lance Bass, Bon Jovi, and Sting. We will only see JT as a supporting role.

Scenario 3: Most Probable Scenario

The movie opens to mild reviews, as does JT’s acting performance. The movie generates roughly 20 million (very respectable) and still opens behind Potter and America. The catch with this scenario is that we can’t really get a gauge on what JT can do and is capable of – the thinking is as followed:

“He opened a movie during the heart of the summer and still managed to pull 20 million. We think we can still bank on him so lets toss him in another romantic comedy and see how he does… Um, who is available… Jennifer Aniston?”

This scenario is open ended because we don’t know what will happen, and this is precisely why this is genius to open this movie on this day. It’s a lock to make some money but if it doesn’t we can blame so many other factors.

JT will get many more opportunities to prove himself and eventually re-assert himself in the leading man role. For a while he’ll be like other musician turned actors: David Bowie, Ice Cube, LL Cool J, and Mos Def. But he’ll eventually come into his own.

One of the above will happen next week; we just need to wait on the reviews.


Final few things about JT – He’s doing his best to define himself as himself and move away from the musician of it all. I don’t know if it’s just me but I always find the “musician turned actor” less believable unless you’re the minority in Marky Mark, The Fresh Price, and Old Blue Eyes. So I need to respect what’s happening here in his career, because up until now he hasn’t really done anything too commercial (and yes I know he was in The Social Network).

JT surrounds himself with good people. Will Gluck directs Friends with Benefits who did the hit Easy A, and he’s paired with rising star Kunis. Mila basically has everything going for her right now – Black Swan, Sarah Marshall, Family Guy, Denzel movie nobody saw, and she dated Macaulay Culkin… Come on.

Lastly, he’s no fool. He clearly knows what he’s doing and makes very educated decisions about his next step in his career and apparently he’s good at what he’s doing. The simple fact that he was in The Social Network gives him actor street cred immediately. But that’s the thing with JT, we’ve only seen snippets of him, not a full 90 minutes of him… at least not yet.

So, next week, as you go see Harry Potter for the second time or check out Captain America just remember that the musical George Clooney (tons of chicks, isn’t slowing down) is going to open his first film and this will be the spark as to what will happen next. Although I’m nowhere close to sold on JT, I actually have faith that he’s going to do a great job and we’ll one day forget that he was a singer… until he does his Sinatra comeback tour.

A Chronological Embracement of Harry Potter.

2001: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is released. I think the previews look childish but someone entertaining. I don’t end up seeing it in the theaters and don’t think twice about it.

In college my roommate Chris vowed to me that the first Harry Potter was a good movie and was sure I’d like it. Even though I was a movie buff, at the time I was too busy consuming the 3 dollar liter of Vodka that I paid too much for, and the only thing I really cared to know about Harry Potter was that Haley Joel Osmet almost got the role.

One cold winter at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee (random shout out) while everyone was on winter break Chris and I were finishing some classes. Seeing it was only the two of us he knew it was as good a time as any to ask me… “Want to watch Harry Potter?”  I really don’t know why I didn’t want to watch this movie, but I’ll take any excuse not to study, so I finally said – yes.

I guess I can now admit that I didn’t really want to like Harry Potter before watching the movie. I’m not sure if I was oddly stubborn that I didn’t come up with the idea or if I was turned off by the phenomenon and the eagerness to embrace this little lightning bolted kid.  But to my credit I think I did go in with an open mind.

He started the movie… I watched about 30 minutes… And without surprise I passed out before the second act got kicking. Not sure if it was from the probable hangover or the lack of interest, but either way from that moment, I was done with Harry Potter.

Flash forward from that point on, or rewind from current day.

2002: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is released. I have some interest and am still wondering what happened to the first film and me. I contemplate either seeing the movies, or actually opening the book. I do neither and don’t miss it.

2004: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is released. Wait, Gary Oldman is in this movie? He’s a badass, should I be seeing these movies? I don’t see it but I hear they’re only getting better, which was a surprise because Chris Columbus kicked ass with the first 2 (apparently).

2005: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is released. At this point I’m sick of these movies, don’t know why, I just am. Are these really still being released? I have no interest what so ever in these movies but I will admit the trailers look cool. The other thing this movie has going for it is Mike Newell, the director of Donnie Brasco, what the hell?

The major note with this film – Potter goes to PG-13 territory. It takes the step from PG and enters odd territory – more on this soon.

2007: Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix is released. This is where I believe a monumental change happened in Harry Potter, and at this point I still have only seen 28 minutes of the first one.

1) Also PG-13 like it’s predecessor.

2) The poster is ominous. The movie looks dark.

3) The word of mouth happens, and if my name was Malcolm Gladwell I think this would be called “The Tipping Point” this is the movie that people started to say: “Harry Potter is Dark and isn’t for kids.” In my opinion this was always what people said in order to bring in an older crowd and I didn’t buy it. I thought it was all for marketing, in hindsight it’s kind of genius because as Potters audience got older, so did the movie content.

4) The trailer looks badass, again.

5) Random Robert Pattinson cameo aka Edward Cullen from Twilight. Not really a cameo but his picture used, it should be noted he died in the first Harry Potter. Not sure how this is relevant, just seems like it is.

2009: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is released. In my opinion at the time Harry Potter was the octomom of movies. When will this ever end? Also, why do I think these movies look so cool yet I’ve never seen them? Should I start watching now?  Nah… it’s too late.

HARRY POTTER NEWS ALERT! There will only be two more Harry Potter movies ever but it’s going to be split into an epic story of Potterness. Fans go nuts - others don’t care.

2010: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Part 1 is released. Watch the trailer. Let’s be clear about something, this trailer looks really cool. These kids look weathered like the banker who has to count all of the money these movies have made. But I’ve given up on seeing this movie. I think it’s just too late for me to get my head in the game, I focus on other great movie releases in 2010 like…um… ah… moving on.

2011: Present Day-ish.

I’m sitting in The Green Lantern (don’t ask) and the trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Part 2 is shown. While the trailer is happening my girlfriend clinches my hand and whispers that she has the chills. Huh? I say to her “I’ve been with you for 3 years and you’ve never said a thing about Harry Potter.” She tells me she loves it.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Now I need to know. My girlfriend rents “The dark one” aka The Order of the Phoenix and I watch it.

The weirdest thing happened. While watching the movie I found myself to be somewhat bored, but oddly engaged. I let the movie play out and I stuck with it. I didn’t know if I liked it but as soon as it finished I had about 20 questions. And how do I get answers to these questions? I must watch the other movies of course.

I watched the next one – same thing, I found it slow but I was engaged the entire time. The again I watched Deathly Hollows. The movie felt like it was 480 minutes but I stuck with it.

Now I find myself here today open and willing to admit that I am a fan of Harry Potter. It snuck up on me and I have been wondering how it happened. I’ve realized that that’s been the problem the entire time, I’ve been wondering too much. I just didn’t accept the adventure of Harry Potter, I questioned it too much and I fought it simply because it felt right.

These movies are really straight up adventure of kids and it has sucked me in. I can say that these have been some of the most consistent movies I’ve seen from the characters staying the same to the growth of the film… this is a really great story. What kid doesn’t want to leave his house and embrace adventure?

One random note – This cast of characters have aged perfectly, in the history of movies I don’t know a group of kids who have stayed pretty good looking for this long a time. I should stop talking about this before it gets too weird.

I called my college roommate Chris today and told him my deal. Told him that I’ve turned and came around to Potter, I told him he was right the entire time like Jack in LOST. After my Potter ramble he said:

“Oh yeah, I haven’t seen the last 3 but I need to catch up and my girlfriend loves them.”

I don’t get it. I just know that I get that I like Harry Potter.