When is the post office at fault? Is it ever at fault? I feel as though the Post Office always justifies why it's not they're fault.
Example: I work in a position which requires me to use the post office quite often, I send large amounts of things on a regular basis. The main man in the company questioned me on a few deliveries I was supposed to send out, apparently they never reached the sender. I checked on my end... Yup, Sent. Checked on the other end...They've been keeping a eye out for it.
Well, the only person to question is the middle man... The Post Office. I did some checking into the problems and according to the post office it was sent AND received. Odd. Not to mention they became quite offended I would even question the delivery standards. How dare I question the POST OFFICE, of course it was done proper on their side, it's "tracked." To get to the point they denied fault and said they did their Job.
Okay Maybe Post Office...Maybe...But I doubt it. I feel as though the Post Office feels entitled.
What's your worth?
Your worth, what is it? Who determines it? What is worth? And how is it possible for people to make you feel so crummy even when you have no investment in them what so ever.
We're an interesting bunch of people here on earth, our emotion trumps our logic and our logic justifies our emotions. Many of us find ourselves moving through life based off of our emotions and I sometimes wonder if that's the way to do it. Is it best to make decisions based off of our gut reaction? My initial instinct tells me no, I think it is best to define and understand situations before moving on. However, I'm a "heady" individual and I may be wrong. But on the slip side I think you should always trust your gut and instinct.
Our emotions get moved and our self worth gets played with. We are all a special group of people and we should never forget how and why we are. I had to bring this up because I talk to people who are directly affected from others. In jobs and relationships we take words to heart and let them penetrate our emotions. It happens to me too, I think it happens with everyone...It's funny how quickly we can forget our uniqueness and importance.
Whatever it's worth I think we all have a place and purpose and I know it's greater than what anyone can think about you.
We're an interesting bunch of people here on earth, our emotion trumps our logic and our logic justifies our emotions. Many of us find ourselves moving through life based off of our emotions and I sometimes wonder if that's the way to do it. Is it best to make decisions based off of our gut reaction? My initial instinct tells me no, I think it is best to define and understand situations before moving on. However, I'm a "heady" individual and I may be wrong. But on the slip side I think you should always trust your gut and instinct.
Our emotions get moved and our self worth gets played with. We are all a special group of people and we should never forget how and why we are. I had to bring this up because I talk to people who are directly affected from others. In jobs and relationships we take words to heart and let them penetrate our emotions. It happens to me too, I think it happens with everyone...It's funny how quickly we can forget our uniqueness and importance.
Whatever it's worth I think we all have a place and purpose and I know it's greater than what anyone can think about you.
The New Health Care
Well... Obama is trying again... Republicans hate everything and Democrats are too passive. Here's a link from Kate Pickert from TIME:
Obama and his Plan...
Obama and his Plan...
Us=robots=food=health
Why don't we know what's in our food? We know some but not all. Every so often when I read or see something explaining the current state of our manufacturing and produce I get worried that we only eat "filler" substance. Filler meaning it gives us a taste that we know and love...IE: Cheetos, Doritos, McDonalds Burgers... Whatever the case may be.
I watched Food Inc. the other day and a question which I've heard before has been asked... Why does a Happy Meal cost less than Broccoli or Asparagus. How is it possible that a vegetable or fruit which can be planted is more than Hamburger.
Conspiracy time!!!
We as a society have been cornered into a Market by big business and Corporations. The larger corporations keep pumping this garbage in our body because they need us to be their robots. They need us to get sick so we can start using antibiotics to buy from large pharmaceutical companies... They need us to love the taste of filler meat so we can keep pushing money into a already powerful company. They need us and they control us, in my mind it's Gordon Gekko at the head of the Food Industry.
The majority doesn't pay attention to what's in their meat, what fertilizer was used, or where something comes from. We eat eat and eat. Why do we eat fast food? Because we can't afford the "more expensive" food. Why don't they put a higher tax on foods that are known to cause diabetes or obesity? And why is it you can generally tell if a person is wealthy or not depending on their weight.
$$$ = Healthy Living
The only solution is to unite and demand better knowledge and food.... I'm rambling.
Enjoy Dinner!
I watched Food Inc. the other day and a question which I've heard before has been asked... Why does a Happy Meal cost less than Broccoli or Asparagus. How is it possible that a vegetable or fruit which can be planted is more than Hamburger.
Conspiracy time!!!
We as a society have been cornered into a Market by big business and Corporations. The larger corporations keep pumping this garbage in our body because they need us to be their robots. They need us to get sick so we can start using antibiotics to buy from large pharmaceutical companies... They need us to love the taste of filler meat so we can keep pushing money into a already powerful company. They need us and they control us, in my mind it's Gordon Gekko at the head of the Food Industry.
The majority doesn't pay attention to what's in their meat, what fertilizer was used, or where something comes from. We eat eat and eat. Why do we eat fast food? Because we can't afford the "more expensive" food. Why don't they put a higher tax on foods that are known to cause diabetes or obesity? And why is it you can generally tell if a person is wealthy or not depending on their weight.
$$$ = Healthy Living
The only solution is to unite and demand better knowledge and food.... I'm rambling.
Enjoy Dinner!
MSNBC and FOX
NBA: Solving the Dunk Contest
It seems that every so often we start to reflect on the days of Michael Jordan, Spud Webb, and Dominique Wilkins. We all acknowledged that those days are long gone, then came the epic contest that was Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, Steve Francis (where are you Franchise?) I think Stackhouse was in that dunk contest. Either way, it was at that moment the contest was BACK! One problem, the stars weren't back. From there we get the Jason Richardsons and Desmond Masons...then comes Superman VS Spud W- I mean Nate Robinson. The show regained some interest but it turned into exactly that a show, theatrics that were no better than watching me control dunks on video games.
The natural question comes into play... What happened to the Dunk Contest? Then the next question... Why doesn't the "King" Lebron James compete. I recall him saying that he was going to, then he pulled out. What insecurity holds him back? Must we remind him all the greats (who could dunk) were in the contest and all of them upped their legacy by launching from the freethrow line or 360ing through the legs. I bet in Vince Carter never entered the contest he'd playing next to Stephon Marbury in Europe.
What does this come down too? Well, money of course. Why should any superstars who can dunk and make 75 million compete when they don't have to. What do they have to prove? Money is tossed away in the NBA at this point. I can hear one of these guys saying "Umm, who the hell are you? I don't have to do anything."
Don't these guys know they make money because of us? They need us just as bad as we need them. We need them for entertainment, they need us for financial stability... but that's a different argument.
HERE'S THE SOLUTION(s):
1) My Buddy and I have come to this: Bring in the NBDL to challenge the NBA dunkers, get some hungry guys in there who want to prove something, who want to win some money and want to show that they deserve a spot on in the NBA. This promotes the NBA and also scares the hell out of NBA players to not get shown up.
2) Have the fans vote in the dunkers who can still dunk. ie: LeBron. If LeBron refuses he has to offer a public reason why not. Injury...fine. Family stuff...fine. But, I don't want to see him on the sidelines making faces OR doing better dunks in the allstar game the next day.
3) (the most illogical) Bring in the AND 1 guys. "The Air up there" aka Mr. I did a 720 would win in a heartbeat. And have THEM challenge the NBA.
Basically this comes down to the players not wanting to do it, and it completely shows. It's pathetic. Acknowledge that you owe it back to the people who buy your shoes and jerseys. If you came to my work and cheered me on while I wrote this blog you better believe I'd pay you pack somehow someway in the future.
Solution!
Short Story Sunday...Women 1 thing
Women: 1 thing
Everyone has his or her opinion concerning the opposite sex, and the same sex for that matter. People love to give out advice. Typically they’ll jump at the opportunity to vent knowledge. Every specific individual seems to undoubtedly know one fact or tidbit of information about the opposite sex. In my experience it seems all men know at least 1 thing about women learned through personal experience…
- Act like you don’t care.
- Don’t call them back.
- Don’t call back someone you sleep with on the first night.
- …You can never say that to a woman.
- Women are like…
- …yeah… All women are the same.
I was fresh out of a long-term relationship and I kept hearing the same thing over and over again. “Josh, you have to sleep with women.” The logic behind sleeping with many women is that you tend to forget your past, and you remember that other women are in the sea, and they’re yours for the taking. I guess I wasn’t wired like some of my friends because I didn’t want to sleep with other women. I wanted to sulk, I wanted to lay around my house depressed, not eating, and being angry with women. Maybe that was the softer side of me speaking. It could that I was raised by women and subconsciously I didn’t want to go do that, or maybe it was just because I was upset with my recent relationship.
“Women are not the same anymore.”
I’ve been hearing that statement for years. I feel like any time I’d read a book, which touched on personal relationships with women, the man would always say that. Apparently women have evolved over time, they’re not the same. Every decade women become more independent, crude, and sexual, they apparently are becoming men. As men we think that the women in our time are more advanced than women before us. This is probably true, and this is what I’m dealing with now. I’m fresh out of a break up and tossed into a sea of women who act like men. Great, in essence I’m going to be pursuing the pursuer.
My friend Ethan finally convinced me to “get off my ass and get outside.” This was the time I chased after the opposite sex. He motivated me into setting up a few dates and going out for a few drinks. He was the catalyst I needed, and he was kind enough to take this into his own hands. I guess he’s seen enough of me lying on my couch. Ethan set up a date with his friend Stephanie. I knew Stephanie, and we had planned to grab a bite to eat at a pizza restaurant mid day. This mid day date truly made me feel like an adult, I don’t know why but just the set up made me feel one step away from posting an ad in the newspaper or online for a date.
I was sitting at the table waiting for my mid day date and right before meeting with Stephanie I had a sense of cheating. I was so accustom to being with someone else that it felt wrong to meet new people. I already could see the liberation in dating new women. How did I ever forget this feeling? It was at that moment she walked in, I stood up to greet her and we both sat down.
Stephanie was pretty. She had very soft features but carried a sense of uncertainty. I couldn’t tell if she always felt this way or was presented our situation and feels funny on our date. I started to examine everything she was saying and wearing, and it was at that moment I noticed the flaw – She’s wearing cowboy boots. I didn’t understand the boots, this is Los Angeles, it’s 80 degrees outside and you’re wearing boots. Come to think of it she’s wearing a cowboy themed outfit. This is going to be a problem I thought. I’m not to hot on cowboy apparel but something doesn’t match with her outfit. I didn’t know what the hell I was saying, am I really critiquing her clothes?
Stephanie kept talking and talking. We discussed football, actors, movies, I would regularly resort back to Ethan and “how good of a guy he was” managing to fill in gaps of the conversation. But who cares about the conversation I just kept thinking about her boots, her brown cowboy boots…that don’t match her outfit! I had to ask her about the boots, I just had to know how often she wears them, I wondered if this was a one-time thing or maybe this is her style. All I knew is that I wasn’t used to them and I needed answers. And then it came out –
I sat in front of Ethan, the date now a memory. I didn’t have to tell him how it went he’d already talked with Stephanie.
“Josh, you asked about her BOOTS!?”
“Yes.”
“What’d you say?”
“I said why are you wearing cowboy boots?”
He couldn’t believe it. Apparently I sounded judgmental almost to a point of me making fun of her. I had no intention to make fun of her it was just a question burning my mind. Still Ethan couldn’t grasp this.
“So you’re telling me that of all the things to talk about you couldn’t leave out her boots? You know you never ask a girl about her fashion, you only compliment them!”
“No, that’s ridiculous! You know what… Yes I did say it and sure maybe I was judging her but she was judging me! It’s not my fault I dressed in my casual attire, she could have made fun of my jeans and shirt if she wanted!”
“You just don’t say that!”
“Why? Is it against the rules!? You want to know something else… It felt great! It felt great speaking my mind and not caring. I have no emotions towards Stephanie, I didn’t need to impress her, and I was myself!”
I was shocked this just came out of my mouth. I was myself, this felt amazing. Ethan stayed stubborn on the situation that I shouldn’t say some things. I didn’t care, and I thought it was insane to have rules on what to do and not to do. Ethan rolled his eyes and found some humor in this, I never saw Stephanie again but I decided I’m going to get out more and see more girls.
Soon I was going out with Ethan regularly, however I was facing the same problem time and time again. I was picking at the flaws I saw in the opposite sex, and trust me they all had their problems. Very quickly I became an extremely superficial person, but I think only Ethan and I knew. He understood it too. I justified my internal superficiality as an outward display of insecurity. In my mind that somehow made things seem better but ultimately I was upset I was recently broken up with.
One night I went out with Ethan and met the first girl I was very attracted too, Liz. She had very dark features, a great smile, and a seductive way about her. I met her at a loud restaurant/bar where she was eating with a group of her girlfriends. Liz turned out to be from Canada working as an assistant for a Public Relations firm in Los Angeles. She went on and on to tell me she wanted to move to Los Angeles full time, and she loved everything about it here. Liz then invited me to a bar for a late night get together. I told her I just had to talk with my friend but it sounded like a great idea. The place was an upscale place located in Hollywood, she was skeptical I could get in but I assured her I’d see her there.
In Los Angeles if you’re an attractive woman you don’t have to worry about being “rejected” at an establishment. This very idea of rejecting individuals irked me, and this is why I didn’t go out. The catch was that I had to understand it at this point in my life because on a smaller scale I was doing the same thing – judging who comes close to me or not.
Fortunately Ethan loved to go out, which meant he had access to all of these places a person like me couldn’t typically enter. I told Ethan Liz wanted to meet, he told me it was a great idea, he knew how we could get into the bar, he “knew someone.” Sure, fine by me. I exchanged phone numbers with Liz and told her I looked forward too seeing her, which I was. Liz left the restaurant and Ethan hung around a while longer. Time flew past and before we knew it, it was 1am. It was time to go and meet Liz.
Outside of the chic bar Ethan was talking to his good friend, this was the guy who was supposed to allow us entrance into the place. The “friend” gave a look at me and told me I couldn’t come in but Ethan could. Apparently the excuse was that there were too many men inside. All I could think about is how shallow this town was, and oddly I began to feel upset that I had been so upfront with women. I hope I wasn’t hurting their feelings. It is beyond me that some of the things in this town are accepted but I guess it’s the nature of the beast, and right now I had no choice but to accept it. I felt completely embarrassed so I came up with a plan so Liz didn’t think I was left out in the cold…
Plan: Ethan heads inside the bar. If he sees Liz he tells her I am inside somewhere but hasn’t seen me. I will call Liz and buy some time by telling her I can’t hear her on the other end. The bar we were trying to get into was extremely loud and very crowded, this worked in my favor. If Liz were to ask where I was I’d blame it on the large area, she’d never know. If she text messages me I’ll play confused. The bar closes in about an hour and I’ll tell her I’ll meet her outside because I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic.
Ethan bought the plan, he headed in and I waited outside. Sure enough she called… she left me text messages… she asked Ethan where I was. I was sitting around the corner by one of the exits on the outside ledge of the building. I know I looked completely out of place. I kept referencing my watch hoping that the place would close, finally it did. I wrote Liz a message, I told her I’d wait outside. Eventually Ethan came walking out with his friend and soon so did Liz, the plan worked brilliantly and now I’m talking with her outside of the bar.
Liz was right to the point: “Do you want to come over?” Wow I thought. I told her I’d go home with her. I told Ethan what was going on, he gave me the thumbs up and within fifteen minutes I was following Liz to her apartment.
On the ride over all I could think about was how spontaneous this was. I loved this aspect of dating, and I loved having the freedom of doing something like this. I kept thinking about the events that led up to me driving behind Liz’s black Jeep. I looked down at my clothing, jeans and my superman t-shirt. I never thought of it but maybe that’s why I didn’t get let it to the club, I’m dressed so casual, either way that’s behind me and I’m heading to a girls house I just met.
We drove to Santa Monica and Liz pulled into her parking spot first, she ushered me to my proper spot, I got out of my car and started to head into her house. This was unfamiliar territory for me, I’ve been in this position before but something was different this time, I felt grown up. As I entered her two-bedroom apartment she told me her roommate may or may not be coming home, so the house is ours. Wow.
Liz grabbed us beers and I looked to see it was 3am. I thought about the millions of guys who are in the same position I’m in. Then a familiar thought hit me: Women are not the same anymore. Liz and I proceeded to get closer and closer out of the blue she told me she wanted a cigarette, I don’t smoke but I’ll definitely stand outside with her as company.
We went outside to the lower floor. As she smoked I noticed there was an entrance to her apartment roof. I asked her about it and she said we could go on top. It looked pretty high and in my mind seemed pretty amazing so I upped the ante and suggested we take a blanket and lay on the roof. Liz was clearly startled by my request but she was open to the suggestion. She flicked her cigarette, grabbed the blanket, and we headed up the stairs.
We laid on surprisingly soft surface, I placed my fresh beer next to me, and we both stared into the sky. Somehow this just became very romantic, I wondered how long we’d stay up here and if we’d see the sunset. I started to tell her my love for stars and the unknown. She was agreeing with everything I was saying, either she didn’t care or she actually was listening. What was happening to me right now was something I only had heard about- Laying with a pretty girl on a roof under the starlight. Somehow this is happening to me. Our conversation was silent, any logical man would have leaned over and kissed the beautiful girl, unfortunately I did not. I told her that I wished we had flying cars. I wished that our transportation were in the air as well as on the ground.
Liz then made the comment:
“Maybe we will in a few years.”
I laughed at her suggestion. It was a playful laugh because I thought she was kidding. It turns out she wasn’t kidding at all.
“Why couldn’t there be flying cars?” She said.
I told her that for starters we don’t have domesticated flying cars. We’d have to make new airways and specific positions for cars to fly in, and if there was a crash in the air… Oh that would be terrible. But for some unknown reason she felt strong about her opinion and she felt there could and will be flying cars.
No way I thought. She told me to let it go but I couldn’t. This argument was completely ridiculous and I can’t get it out of my head, hell, it’s not even an argument it was playful banter. I started to get worried about my reaction to this. I am suddenly becoming completely defensive to this girl. I’m throwing up a fight because she thinks we’d have flying cars and proper airways by 2013.
I had a flash of what was going on, I’ve been rude to the opposite sex and I’m finding reasons to flush them out of my life. I’m not ready for this world, and I don’t even know what the hell is going on. I’m on top of a roof spitting out nonsense about flying cars while lying on a blanket. I thought I was having a panic attack. I had to get off of this roof and out of this situation,
I wanted to tell her that I was sorry and I had to go, I wanted to be polite and get out of this situation. But no, I shot up and said in a stern voice:
“Liz, we’re not going to see any flying cars soon. You’re ridiculous to think that and I need to get the hell out of here!”
…I stormed from the roof knowing how dumb I just sounded.
The next day Ethan looked at me in complete confusion and disgust. He had no idea what I was doing and neither did I. I explained to him I’m not ready for this world of women. However, I knew that women are no longer the same, they’re much more aggressive than the past. He agreed.
I felt lost and confused I didn’t know what to make of women or the world that they live in. Some are aggressive some are not, some like one thing, some like the other. All I knew is that I needed some sort of change. I needed to get out of town and clear my head for a while. I was stuck, and the substance making me cling to the same spot surrounded me.
I didn’t know much about women but the one thing I walked away knowing is in this day and age, if you don’t know what you want...Women will internally eat you alive.
Everyone has his or her opinion concerning the opposite sex, and the same sex for that matter. People love to give out advice. Typically they’ll jump at the opportunity to vent knowledge. Every specific individual seems to undoubtedly know one fact or tidbit of information about the opposite sex. In my experience it seems all men know at least 1 thing about women learned through personal experience…
- Act like you don’t care.
- Don’t call them back.
- Don’t call back someone you sleep with on the first night.
- …You can never say that to a woman.
- Women are like…
- …yeah… All women are the same.
I was fresh out of a long-term relationship and I kept hearing the same thing over and over again. “Josh, you have to sleep with women.” The logic behind sleeping with many women is that you tend to forget your past, and you remember that other women are in the sea, and they’re yours for the taking. I guess I wasn’t wired like some of my friends because I didn’t want to sleep with other women. I wanted to sulk, I wanted to lay around my house depressed, not eating, and being angry with women. Maybe that was the softer side of me speaking. It could that I was raised by women and subconsciously I didn’t want to go do that, or maybe it was just because I was upset with my recent relationship.
“Women are not the same anymore.”
I’ve been hearing that statement for years. I feel like any time I’d read a book, which touched on personal relationships with women, the man would always say that. Apparently women have evolved over time, they’re not the same. Every decade women become more independent, crude, and sexual, they apparently are becoming men. As men we think that the women in our time are more advanced than women before us. This is probably true, and this is what I’m dealing with now. I’m fresh out of a break up and tossed into a sea of women who act like men. Great, in essence I’m going to be pursuing the pursuer.
My friend Ethan finally convinced me to “get off my ass and get outside.” This was the time I chased after the opposite sex. He motivated me into setting up a few dates and going out for a few drinks. He was the catalyst I needed, and he was kind enough to take this into his own hands. I guess he’s seen enough of me lying on my couch. Ethan set up a date with his friend Stephanie. I knew Stephanie, and we had planned to grab a bite to eat at a pizza restaurant mid day. This mid day date truly made me feel like an adult, I don’t know why but just the set up made me feel one step away from posting an ad in the newspaper or online for a date.
I was sitting at the table waiting for my mid day date and right before meeting with Stephanie I had a sense of cheating. I was so accustom to being with someone else that it felt wrong to meet new people. I already could see the liberation in dating new women. How did I ever forget this feeling? It was at that moment she walked in, I stood up to greet her and we both sat down.
Stephanie was pretty. She had very soft features but carried a sense of uncertainty. I couldn’t tell if she always felt this way or was presented our situation and feels funny on our date. I started to examine everything she was saying and wearing, and it was at that moment I noticed the flaw – She’s wearing cowboy boots. I didn’t understand the boots, this is Los Angeles, it’s 80 degrees outside and you’re wearing boots. Come to think of it she’s wearing a cowboy themed outfit. This is going to be a problem I thought. I’m not to hot on cowboy apparel but something doesn’t match with her outfit. I didn’t know what the hell I was saying, am I really critiquing her clothes?
Stephanie kept talking and talking. We discussed football, actors, movies, I would regularly resort back to Ethan and “how good of a guy he was” managing to fill in gaps of the conversation. But who cares about the conversation I just kept thinking about her boots, her brown cowboy boots…that don’t match her outfit! I had to ask her about the boots, I just had to know how often she wears them, I wondered if this was a one-time thing or maybe this is her style. All I knew is that I wasn’t used to them and I needed answers. And then it came out –
I sat in front of Ethan, the date now a memory. I didn’t have to tell him how it went he’d already talked with Stephanie.
“Josh, you asked about her BOOTS!?”
“Yes.”
“What’d you say?”
“I said why are you wearing cowboy boots?”
He couldn’t believe it. Apparently I sounded judgmental almost to a point of me making fun of her. I had no intention to make fun of her it was just a question burning my mind. Still Ethan couldn’t grasp this.
“So you’re telling me that of all the things to talk about you couldn’t leave out her boots? You know you never ask a girl about her fashion, you only compliment them!”
“No, that’s ridiculous! You know what… Yes I did say it and sure maybe I was judging her but she was judging me! It’s not my fault I dressed in my casual attire, she could have made fun of my jeans and shirt if she wanted!”
“You just don’t say that!”
“Why? Is it against the rules!? You want to know something else… It felt great! It felt great speaking my mind and not caring. I have no emotions towards Stephanie, I didn’t need to impress her, and I was myself!”
I was shocked this just came out of my mouth. I was myself, this felt amazing. Ethan stayed stubborn on the situation that I shouldn’t say some things. I didn’t care, and I thought it was insane to have rules on what to do and not to do. Ethan rolled his eyes and found some humor in this, I never saw Stephanie again but I decided I’m going to get out more and see more girls.
Soon I was going out with Ethan regularly, however I was facing the same problem time and time again. I was picking at the flaws I saw in the opposite sex, and trust me they all had their problems. Very quickly I became an extremely superficial person, but I think only Ethan and I knew. He understood it too. I justified my internal superficiality as an outward display of insecurity. In my mind that somehow made things seem better but ultimately I was upset I was recently broken up with.
One night I went out with Ethan and met the first girl I was very attracted too, Liz. She had very dark features, a great smile, and a seductive way about her. I met her at a loud restaurant/bar where she was eating with a group of her girlfriends. Liz turned out to be from Canada working as an assistant for a Public Relations firm in Los Angeles. She went on and on to tell me she wanted to move to Los Angeles full time, and she loved everything about it here. Liz then invited me to a bar for a late night get together. I told her I just had to talk with my friend but it sounded like a great idea. The place was an upscale place located in Hollywood, she was skeptical I could get in but I assured her I’d see her there.
In Los Angeles if you’re an attractive woman you don’t have to worry about being “rejected” at an establishment. This very idea of rejecting individuals irked me, and this is why I didn’t go out. The catch was that I had to understand it at this point in my life because on a smaller scale I was doing the same thing – judging who comes close to me or not.
Fortunately Ethan loved to go out, which meant he had access to all of these places a person like me couldn’t typically enter. I told Ethan Liz wanted to meet, he told me it was a great idea, he knew how we could get into the bar, he “knew someone.” Sure, fine by me. I exchanged phone numbers with Liz and told her I looked forward too seeing her, which I was. Liz left the restaurant and Ethan hung around a while longer. Time flew past and before we knew it, it was 1am. It was time to go and meet Liz.
Outside of the chic bar Ethan was talking to his good friend, this was the guy who was supposed to allow us entrance into the place. The “friend” gave a look at me and told me I couldn’t come in but Ethan could. Apparently the excuse was that there were too many men inside. All I could think about is how shallow this town was, and oddly I began to feel upset that I had been so upfront with women. I hope I wasn’t hurting their feelings. It is beyond me that some of the things in this town are accepted but I guess it’s the nature of the beast, and right now I had no choice but to accept it. I felt completely embarrassed so I came up with a plan so Liz didn’t think I was left out in the cold…
Plan: Ethan heads inside the bar. If he sees Liz he tells her I am inside somewhere but hasn’t seen me. I will call Liz and buy some time by telling her I can’t hear her on the other end. The bar we were trying to get into was extremely loud and very crowded, this worked in my favor. If Liz were to ask where I was I’d blame it on the large area, she’d never know. If she text messages me I’ll play confused. The bar closes in about an hour and I’ll tell her I’ll meet her outside because I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic.
Ethan bought the plan, he headed in and I waited outside. Sure enough she called… she left me text messages… she asked Ethan where I was. I was sitting around the corner by one of the exits on the outside ledge of the building. I know I looked completely out of place. I kept referencing my watch hoping that the place would close, finally it did. I wrote Liz a message, I told her I’d wait outside. Eventually Ethan came walking out with his friend and soon so did Liz, the plan worked brilliantly and now I’m talking with her outside of the bar.
Liz was right to the point: “Do you want to come over?” Wow I thought. I told her I’d go home with her. I told Ethan what was going on, he gave me the thumbs up and within fifteen minutes I was following Liz to her apartment.
On the ride over all I could think about was how spontaneous this was. I loved this aspect of dating, and I loved having the freedom of doing something like this. I kept thinking about the events that led up to me driving behind Liz’s black Jeep. I looked down at my clothing, jeans and my superman t-shirt. I never thought of it but maybe that’s why I didn’t get let it to the club, I’m dressed so casual, either way that’s behind me and I’m heading to a girls house I just met.
We drove to Santa Monica and Liz pulled into her parking spot first, she ushered me to my proper spot, I got out of my car and started to head into her house. This was unfamiliar territory for me, I’ve been in this position before but something was different this time, I felt grown up. As I entered her two-bedroom apartment she told me her roommate may or may not be coming home, so the house is ours. Wow.
Liz grabbed us beers and I looked to see it was 3am. I thought about the millions of guys who are in the same position I’m in. Then a familiar thought hit me: Women are not the same anymore. Liz and I proceeded to get closer and closer out of the blue she told me she wanted a cigarette, I don’t smoke but I’ll definitely stand outside with her as company.
We went outside to the lower floor. As she smoked I noticed there was an entrance to her apartment roof. I asked her about it and she said we could go on top. It looked pretty high and in my mind seemed pretty amazing so I upped the ante and suggested we take a blanket and lay on the roof. Liz was clearly startled by my request but she was open to the suggestion. She flicked her cigarette, grabbed the blanket, and we headed up the stairs.
We laid on surprisingly soft surface, I placed my fresh beer next to me, and we both stared into the sky. Somehow this just became very romantic, I wondered how long we’d stay up here and if we’d see the sunset. I started to tell her my love for stars and the unknown. She was agreeing with everything I was saying, either she didn’t care or she actually was listening. What was happening to me right now was something I only had heard about- Laying with a pretty girl on a roof under the starlight. Somehow this is happening to me. Our conversation was silent, any logical man would have leaned over and kissed the beautiful girl, unfortunately I did not. I told her that I wished we had flying cars. I wished that our transportation were in the air as well as on the ground.
Liz then made the comment:
“Maybe we will in a few years.”
I laughed at her suggestion. It was a playful laugh because I thought she was kidding. It turns out she wasn’t kidding at all.
“Why couldn’t there be flying cars?” She said.
I told her that for starters we don’t have domesticated flying cars. We’d have to make new airways and specific positions for cars to fly in, and if there was a crash in the air… Oh that would be terrible. But for some unknown reason she felt strong about her opinion and she felt there could and will be flying cars.
No way I thought. She told me to let it go but I couldn’t. This argument was completely ridiculous and I can’t get it out of my head, hell, it’s not even an argument it was playful banter. I started to get worried about my reaction to this. I am suddenly becoming completely defensive to this girl. I’m throwing up a fight because she thinks we’d have flying cars and proper airways by 2013.
I had a flash of what was going on, I’ve been rude to the opposite sex and I’m finding reasons to flush them out of my life. I’m not ready for this world, and I don’t even know what the hell is going on. I’m on top of a roof spitting out nonsense about flying cars while lying on a blanket. I thought I was having a panic attack. I had to get off of this roof and out of this situation,
I wanted to tell her that I was sorry and I had to go, I wanted to be polite and get out of this situation. But no, I shot up and said in a stern voice:
“Liz, we’re not going to see any flying cars soon. You’re ridiculous to think that and I need to get the hell out of here!”
…I stormed from the roof knowing how dumb I just sounded.
The next day Ethan looked at me in complete confusion and disgust. He had no idea what I was doing and neither did I. I explained to him I’m not ready for this world of women. However, I knew that women are no longer the same, they’re much more aggressive than the past. He agreed.
I felt lost and confused I didn’t know what to make of women or the world that they live in. Some are aggressive some are not, some like one thing, some like the other. All I knew is that I needed some sort of change. I needed to get out of town and clear my head for a while. I was stuck, and the substance making me cling to the same spot surrounded me.
I didn’t know much about women but the one thing I walked away knowing is in this day and age, if you don’t know what you want...Women will internally eat you alive.
Short Story Sunday
I really just don’t care.
It’s Sunday. It’s proverbial errand or lay around day. Depending on your personal life status the day can go either way. I happen to be in a relationship, which means it’s errand day. The errands aren’t mine they are my significant other’s and being the boyfriend I oblige and I tell her I’ll run the errands. Where are we going?
IKEA.
The Swedish mess that is IKEA leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It’s a furniture store that sells pre-assembled furniture left for the common man to assemble. It’s an interesting store because it spans the range of college dorm room to upscale sleek. It’s also a store that makes you think you “made” something. But you don’t make anything at all in fact we’re falling into a trap. Although it’s advertised for cheap it’s not that cheap. The concept of going to a store to buy something that isn’t made, take it home, spend hours making it just baffles me. Whoever thought of this business model is a simple genius, and there is a good chance I’m jealous.
My girlfriend preps me for the IKEA trip and like any shopping trip I need a objective. I just can’t go shopping, there has to be something in sight, a goal that must be obtained. Personally speaking I love new and good things but I don’t like to go and get them. The mass crowds give me anxiety. The monstrosity that is IKEA is what I fear and I skip buying things to avoid shopping.
“What are we going for?”
“I need a desk.”
“Just one desk? Anything else?”
“Maybe another one, it’s for my office.”
I know where this is going, that maybe means we’re going to get more stuff. A few deep breathes and I’m ready to go.
We’re in the car looking for parking in the underground complex and as planned the parking situation already is a hassle. The mess begins. The slow car in front of us can’t make up his mind and he’s deciding to maybe park in a spot but maybe he can get closer. I of course speed around and park at any open spot, I just want to get in and go.
Inside this mass building that resembles a closed off Disneyland are showrooms that lead to inventory, inventory leads to showrooms, again and again. They’re all filled with mass amounts of people who I think are out to make my shopping a difficult experience. Little do they know I am ready for this, sort of.
My mind morphs the people into obstacles and I’m just trying to navigate my way through the maze of things and make my way to the desks. I barely talk to my girlfriend who is practically running to keep up with me, I just can’t stop I need to keep moving. In reality I had no idea where I was going, I was leaving one territory to head to exactly the same thing. I was hoping that fate would put me to where I needed to be but it wasn’t happening, finally I turn to my girlfriend.
“Do you know where we’re going?”
“I’m just following you.”
Dammit, the one response I didn’t want to hear. I took the lead and now I need to lead but I have no idea where I’m going, this is the Blair Witch of shopping, one dead end leads to another.
Eventually after a tour of showrooms we find what we need, the desks. But they’re not just desks, they’re the pictures of the desks with descriptions and information I just didn’t care about at the time. Quickly, I can feel myself becoming bitterer, and I dislike this feeling because I’ve put myself in this position.
My girlfriend now cannot make up her mind. The desk we have come for is no longer the desired purchase. I eventually chime in and try to help, I of course suggest whatever the cheapest thing is and try to get the show moving. She examines the color, size, make, and everything else a responsible person would do when buying something.
I’m in the corner practically shaking because I want to go and she knows this, I can tell. I’m doing my best to make this shopping experience work but the walls are now starting to close in on me. Her inability to just get something and my inability to allow her is about to meet its boiling point.
I crack.
“I’ve had it, this is ridiculous. Nobody is helping us, I’m going to have to build this thing! This is the most ridiculous thing, let’s just order something and have it delivered to us already built!”
“I’ll build it, it’s fine and I need it tomorrow. I can’t wait.”
Stop being so calm! I walk away like a 12-year-old pouting child, and although I knew I looked ridiculous I kept walking. I imagined if people saw me storm to where I was marching there would be no question as to what just happened. I lost my cool at a furniture store.
Having rage is a mystery to me because for the most of it we don’t care how we look when we’re enraged. The adrenaline is moving so fast apparently the brain can’t keep up. The body and child form comes back and a grown up adult temper tantrum ensues. As an adult we live by the new laws of life that reacting like a baby no longer is a good thing. It ‘s a raw form of emotion and reaction yet we look so silly, adults should have control.
I found myself sitting on a couch that was placed in a showroom. I watched people pass as I guessed which man would break next, I can’t imagine it will be a woman. But at this point anything is possible. I was immediately upset with myself for handling the situation the way I did, I abandoned my girlfriend and looked foolish. I definitely lost my cool. I was determined to regain composure but I must figure out this obvious hate I have for shopping. Why do I fall into the man cliché of shopping?
As more and more people passed it hit me: I just don’t care about certain things. These are all objects that can be disposed of, and it’s just a possession. I don’t like possessions all that much. Now thinking about it, I really don’t care about things that don’t care about me. I took it to the next level: I’m not just talking about random objects, now I’m thinking about people. I just don’t care about people. When did I become this person? My inner bitterness has surfaced, and the ides of myself have just changed.
I don’t like people who aren’t open minded and I’m afraid I’m falling into this category. I keep trying to cough this up to be an IKEA thing but my gut tells me I’m an extremely cut off person when it comes to accepting things I’m not sure about it. My knee jerk disdainful side comes out. Alone on my IKEA couch I contemplated how much effort I’m willing to put into different avenues of my life. What am I willing to give?
I may be over reacting because this is all about a desk right? Maybe, but I can’t hide the fact that I really just don’t care about a lot of things that don’t pertain to me. Selfish- yes. Do I care-no. But deep down I don’t want to be this person. I want to love and accept more without making a instant negative judgment.
I’m finding my girlfriend through this flood of people. Walking back to her I’m aware I need to open certain internal avenues up. I need to care, I need to take a more active interest with ideas and people before I completely close off, because I am so afraid to close off and not know it. When I see her my eyes light up at how tough she is to endure this shopping, she’s trying at least.
“Did you cool down?” She says.
“Trying, sorry”
“It’s okay. Where did you go?”
“Over there”
“What did you do?”
Without hesitation I say:
“I really don’t care to talk about it.”
And we didn’t.
Unomfortable = undesirable = progress
A wise man once told me that comfort is the enemy of progress, he may be right. I prefer to live a certain lifestyle and comfort is a asset I partially wish to maintain. However, it's my belief that when we get cornered into a area that leaves us feeling anxious or uncertain our ingenuity kicks in and we figure out a new method to live.
Any new method may not be the way we want but before we know it, it can become our comfort. And it's the initial kick that sends us where we need to be...sometimes. We're not meant to live in constant comfort if we did the fun of live would be instantly removed. However, sometimes uncomfort is the comfort, and then we're dealing with a new situation.
There is always a positive to every situation, how we manage to find them is up to us. Become uncomfortable sometimes, if you don't, be prepared to be crafty.
Any new method may not be the way we want but before we know it, it can become our comfort. And it's the initial kick that sends us where we need to be...sometimes. We're not meant to live in constant comfort if we did the fun of live would be instantly removed. However, sometimes uncomfort is the comfort, and then we're dealing with a new situation.
There is always a positive to every situation, how we manage to find them is up to us. Become uncomfortable sometimes, if you don't, be prepared to be crafty.
Adidas and Star Wars...and Snoop Dogg?
Anytime someone or something has the capability to bring a rapper and Star Wars together I'm interested. Adidas is officially launching their Star Wars collection and for whatever reason Snoop Dogg was along. Most likely intertwined with Adidas of course.
Looking at this makes me think of a time when Snoop Dogg was the Godfather of Rap, he was a west coast rapper who hung with 2-pac and Dr. Dre. A part of me doesn't want him to go so corporate but I know that he'd be a fool not to capitalize on the financial gain of this.
I'm not too sure if things have ever been this intertwined, the social communications of today pretty much mold every aspect of culture. Our music is market differently, so are our movies and TV. The one time elusive entertainer has officially become bland to a certain degree. One time I begged for their music, now I can hear it any moment of the day via cell phone.
I love the ever changing landscape, and if snoop dogg can collaborate with team George Lucas anything is possible. Soon Mark Zuckerberg will be having fruit roll up's with Lil Kim.
The return of the Blogford
Desert Talk
I just finished meditating on a massive red rock overlooking dry landscape, I was walking out of a conversation I was having with myself. I looked at my watch, 2pm. I was slightly distracted because a bee that wanted to crevice itself in my ear managed to stalk me for the majority of the afternoon. As I left my own conversation, I noticed an oddly shaded cloud that looked as if it was coming to engulf me, but it turned out that it was a cloud of thunder and rain pursuing it’s own objectives.
I came to Joshua Tree, California with my friends Alex and Brent, and while this massively unexpected cloud passed I looked for them through the dry heat. We all came here not knowing what to expect, we all had an idea that we may find one particular tree named Joshua but instead we were pleasantly surprised thousands of Joshua’s scattered around us. One thing we did have an agreement on was that we were coming here to reflect on ourselves.
It’s a spoken and unspoken word that when man ventures into the desert certain aspects about themselves becomes clear. These aspects show themselves at any time, and typically you find yourself wrapped in your own head thinking about you, your family, situations, and what could have been.
As I walked looking for the two I kept thinking about myself, I’m currently at a crossroads in my life. I live in a city that perpetuates confusion and I have an ambition that promotes creativity. I find myself jumping constantly from one thing to the next getting lost in the shuffle just to stay afloat. Many times I take on a new job and focus my attention towards elsewhere, all while neglecting my main objective, my situation and the people who surround me often negatively takes it toll.
I look down at my shoes, why didn’t I wear socks? I’m now climbing up a hill looking for Alex, a part of me wants to yell but I don’t want to disrupt nature, so I’ll keep quiet. I realize I’m aimlessly walking and I have no water, I’m getting tired and I need to drink something. The heat is also taking it’s toll on me, I’m now starting to wonder if the cloud I just saw was actually a rain cloud or if I was just seeing things. How long was I meditating on that rock for? I look at my watch, 3:18pm
I go on wondering if Alex and Brent are together or if they are looking for me. Suddenly, a familiar foe shows up, the bee. A sudden buzz shoots past my head, I stop in my place like an animal ready to attack, it flirts with various parts of my face- as it does SMACK - My gut reaction was to swat and I shot the bee somewhere to the ground, after a moment I finally recognized it laying on the ground mixed in with some dirt. I kept on my way.
I was making my way up hill, when I got to the top I knew it would open my vision to more landscape and hopefully point out someone. I had some worries set in because Alex had the car keys that had a apple and my water, I tried to keep my mind off both.
When I reached the top I saw no Alex, no Brent, just more earth. I was tired, and I had to sit down. As I sat there I thought more about my situation and how I could remedy it, I know what has to be done, I know what I want, and it’s just not happening. The feeling of my life started to set in and it wasn’t feeling good. Typically I’m a optimist and am able to weather any storm but have I met my match? Has life put me here to realize that I may be reaching my breaking point of what I can tolerate? I took a deep breath, stood up and continued to look.
I decided to back track a bit so I wouldn’t get too far off course. I noticed a series of stacked rocks all around me, they were too perfect to be mistakenly stacked, and someone before me must have done it. I wonder if it was Alex or Brent? For whatever reason I decided to stack a few more rocks making the stack up to my waste, I found it interesting because it was like a Jenga puzzle of nature, how or when would it fall?
Now I’m starting to need water, my mouth has gathered saliva around the outside. I start to laugh because I realize this trip to the desert is typical. Some guy who needs water can’t find it, I’ve willfully adhered to the moron in the desert. I couldn’t help but laugh. And it was just at that moment the next prototype of desert activity happened – “Buzzzzzzz.”
It’s back, but it had to be a mirage, the stalking desert bee was back. No way, first off I don’t think bees exist in the desert and second I killed it, maybe it was a friend of the bee? I heard when they die they send out a distress signal, I wish I had that power because right now I’m confused. I let the bee go, it just buzz’s, around and around my head. Again, it’s stalking me. Again I look at my watch, 5:12pm
Finally I’ve had it, I’m almost in tears, I stop. In my mind this is just icing for the cake. I’ve come here to look for clarity and I’m confused as ever, I can’t find anyone and I’m desperate. Apparently my real life has bled into my desert life, I can’t help but think it’s just me. Maybe I’m wired to be this way, always wondering and always confused about what exactly I’m doing. This very idea upsets me but maybe it’s something I should embrace.
I take a few more deep breathes with the bee circling my head, I look into the sky and all I can think about is conceding to the idea of needing help. I now know it, this is what my trip to the desert was for, it was for me to realize I’m confused and I need help. I’m not as strong as I once thought I was. Is my weakness something I can truly accept? Why can’t this just work out as I planned? I should be drinking my damn water by now!
It was at that exact breaking point I saw something. That something was Alex, he was about 500 yards
away coming from another massive hill. In my most casual way I pointed at Alex as if I knew he would be walking towards me and he pointed back. I wondered where Brent was but I really didn’t care, I was just happy to see someone.
I sat on a rock while Alex made his journey over to me, as I sat a whirl of emotions took me over.
The bee, I didn’t hear it buzzing, was it gone? I suddenly did break into a few tears and my mind started to speak like it wasn’t me. I mentally had just put together a puzzle and a sense of relief came over me. I started to connect me looking at Alex and felt it wasn’t Alex, it was me. I just went on a journey.
The bee was a nuisance and I swatted it but it came back. The man made Jenga rocks, they were just being, and I added my touch to it. The cloud of rain was pleasant but brief. My path I just walked was long but eventually what I was looking for showed itself. Everything I just did was necessary to get to what I needed. My off course walk was long, winding, hot, and completely necessary.
My thoughts of mental weakness suddenly were alleviated and my need for water was slightly quenched. Just as I was about to submit to weakness my goal that I was looking for showed itself. It then became clearer that everything was existing on their own, it was my reaction which affected me, not them.
I sat a moment longer and wondered if I was over analyzing. I didn’t care, because this was my experience and this is what I wanted. I felt renewed in my life ventures. I thought life should not be dictated by your surroundings or what bothers you, the only thing that should dictate my life is myself.
As Alex approached he casually said:
“Good to see you, I got a little lost back there”
“Me too”
“It was definitely a little adventure”
“Yup”
Neither of us knew where Brent was but we made our way to the car. When we finally got there Brent was waiting.
Alex clicked open his car door and we all took our time grabbing the water.
I came to Joshua Tree, California with my friends Alex and Brent, and while this massively unexpected cloud passed I looked for them through the dry heat. We all came here not knowing what to expect, we all had an idea that we may find one particular tree named Joshua but instead we were pleasantly surprised thousands of Joshua’s scattered around us. One thing we did have an agreement on was that we were coming here to reflect on ourselves.
It’s a spoken and unspoken word that when man ventures into the desert certain aspects about themselves becomes clear. These aspects show themselves at any time, and typically you find yourself wrapped in your own head thinking about you, your family, situations, and what could have been.
As I walked looking for the two I kept thinking about myself, I’m currently at a crossroads in my life. I live in a city that perpetuates confusion and I have an ambition that promotes creativity. I find myself jumping constantly from one thing to the next getting lost in the shuffle just to stay afloat. Many times I take on a new job and focus my attention towards elsewhere, all while neglecting my main objective, my situation and the people who surround me often negatively takes it toll.
I look down at my shoes, why didn’t I wear socks? I’m now climbing up a hill looking for Alex, a part of me wants to yell but I don’t want to disrupt nature, so I’ll keep quiet. I realize I’m aimlessly walking and I have no water, I’m getting tired and I need to drink something. The heat is also taking it’s toll on me, I’m now starting to wonder if the cloud I just saw was actually a rain cloud or if I was just seeing things. How long was I meditating on that rock for? I look at my watch, 3:18pm
I go on wondering if Alex and Brent are together or if they are looking for me. Suddenly, a familiar foe shows up, the bee. A sudden buzz shoots past my head, I stop in my place like an animal ready to attack, it flirts with various parts of my face- as it does SMACK - My gut reaction was to swat and I shot the bee somewhere to the ground, after a moment I finally recognized it laying on the ground mixed in with some dirt. I kept on my way.
I was making my way up hill, when I got to the top I knew it would open my vision to more landscape and hopefully point out someone. I had some worries set in because Alex had the car keys that had a apple and my water, I tried to keep my mind off both.
When I reached the top I saw no Alex, no Brent, just more earth. I was tired, and I had to sit down. As I sat there I thought more about my situation and how I could remedy it, I know what has to be done, I know what I want, and it’s just not happening. The feeling of my life started to set in and it wasn’t feeling good. Typically I’m a optimist and am able to weather any storm but have I met my match? Has life put me here to realize that I may be reaching my breaking point of what I can tolerate? I took a deep breath, stood up and continued to look.
I decided to back track a bit so I wouldn’t get too far off course. I noticed a series of stacked rocks all around me, they were too perfect to be mistakenly stacked, and someone before me must have done it. I wonder if it was Alex or Brent? For whatever reason I decided to stack a few more rocks making the stack up to my waste, I found it interesting because it was like a Jenga puzzle of nature, how or when would it fall?
Now I’m starting to need water, my mouth has gathered saliva around the outside. I start to laugh because I realize this trip to the desert is typical. Some guy who needs water can’t find it, I’ve willfully adhered to the moron in the desert. I couldn’t help but laugh. And it was just at that moment the next prototype of desert activity happened – “Buzzzzzzz.”
It’s back, but it had to be a mirage, the stalking desert bee was back. No way, first off I don’t think bees exist in the desert and second I killed it, maybe it was a friend of the bee? I heard when they die they send out a distress signal, I wish I had that power because right now I’m confused. I let the bee go, it just buzz’s, around and around my head. Again, it’s stalking me. Again I look at my watch, 5:12pm
Finally I’ve had it, I’m almost in tears, I stop. In my mind this is just icing for the cake. I’ve come here to look for clarity and I’m confused as ever, I can’t find anyone and I’m desperate. Apparently my real life has bled into my desert life, I can’t help but think it’s just me. Maybe I’m wired to be this way, always wondering and always confused about what exactly I’m doing. This very idea upsets me but maybe it’s something I should embrace.
I take a few more deep breathes with the bee circling my head, I look into the sky and all I can think about is conceding to the idea of needing help. I now know it, this is what my trip to the desert was for, it was for me to realize I’m confused and I need help. I’m not as strong as I once thought I was. Is my weakness something I can truly accept? Why can’t this just work out as I planned? I should be drinking my damn water by now!
It was at that exact breaking point I saw something. That something was Alex, he was about 500 yards
away coming from another massive hill. In my most casual way I pointed at Alex as if I knew he would be walking towards me and he pointed back. I wondered where Brent was but I really didn’t care, I was just happy to see someone.
I sat on a rock while Alex made his journey over to me, as I sat a whirl of emotions took me over.
The bee, I didn’t hear it buzzing, was it gone? I suddenly did break into a few tears and my mind started to speak like it wasn’t me. I mentally had just put together a puzzle and a sense of relief came over me. I started to connect me looking at Alex and felt it wasn’t Alex, it was me. I just went on a journey.
The bee was a nuisance and I swatted it but it came back. The man made Jenga rocks, they were just being, and I added my touch to it. The cloud of rain was pleasant but brief. My path I just walked was long but eventually what I was looking for showed itself. Everything I just did was necessary to get to what I needed. My off course walk was long, winding, hot, and completely necessary.
My thoughts of mental weakness suddenly were alleviated and my need for water was slightly quenched. Just as I was about to submit to weakness my goal that I was looking for showed itself. It then became clearer that everything was existing on their own, it was my reaction which affected me, not them.
I sat a moment longer and wondered if I was over analyzing. I didn’t care, because this was my experience and this is what I wanted. I felt renewed in my life ventures. I thought life should not be dictated by your surroundings or what bothers you, the only thing that should dictate my life is myself.
As Alex approached he casually said:
“Good to see you, I got a little lost back there”
“Me too”
“It was definitely a little adventure”
“Yup”
Neither of us knew where Brent was but we made our way to the car. When we finally got there Brent was waiting.
Alex clicked open his car door and we all took our time grabbing the water.
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